A Vale Of Tears, In Musical Form

This is how I tick, musically speaking.

It is no mystery that I like to stim to music. My entire life is adorned with music. I bring music everywhere I can. Yes, even in the MRI machines that look at my brain to make sure my cancer hasn’t come back. If they allow me to listen to music during the MRI, then I listen to music during the MRI.

A lot of the music I listen to is emotionally charged in one way or another. Sometimes I cry just because the piece is arranged in a way that moves me to tears. Sometimes, however, I cry because of the lyrics, and how the piece came into my orbit around the time of a breakup. Or I cry because the song was one that made me think about a partner of mine, that has since become an ex.

So here are those songs that made me cry, and in some cases still make me cry. Most of these songs are related to the various relationships I had with my exes.

I’ve bolded the lines that are especially emotionally charged for me.

Wish I Knew You by The Revivalists

This one came around when I was talking about divorce with my ex-wife. She’s 20-years older than I am. The age gap hasn’t been a big problem during our time together, but sometimes it grips me. So yeah, I wish I had known her when she was young.

I’m now dating people quite a bit younger than I am. So this song is still relevant. I’m happy to have them in my life now, but I’d still would have liked them to know me when I was young.

You shine like a star
You know who you are
You're everything beautiful
She's hot, hot like the sun
The loneliest one
Still everything beautiful
Well I'll be god damned
You're standing at my door
We stayed up in the city
Until the stars lost the war
So Friday night, holy ghost
Take me to your level
Show me the one I need the most
I need the most

I wish I knew you when I was young
We could've got so high
Now we're here it's been so long
Two strangers in the bright lights
Oh I hope you don't mind
We can share my mood yeah
Two strangers in the bright lights
I wish I knew you
I wish I knew you
Oh I wish I knew you when I was young

Truth, it's all that you need
You bury that seed
It's everything beautiful
And that sound comes from the underground
It's all inside you now
It's everything beautiful
But what you, what you, what you, what you running from?
And they got, they got, they got, they got you on the run?
So Friday night
Holy ghost
Take me to your level
Show me the one I need the most
I need the most

I wish I knew you when I was young
We could've got so high
Now we're here it's been so long
Two strangers in the bright lights
Oh and I hope you don't mind
We can share my mood, yeah
Two strangers in the bright lights
I wish I knew you
I wish I knew you
Oh I wish I knew you when I was young

Maybe we can share my mood
Hmm hmm hmm
Maybe we can share my mood
Hmm hmm hmm
Maybe we can share my mood
Hmm hmm hmm

I wish I knew you when I was young
We could've got so high
Now we're here it's been so long
Two strangers in the bright lights
Oh and I hope you don't mind
We can share my mood, yeah
Two strangers in the bright lights
I wish I knew you
I wish I knew you
Oh I wish I knew you when I was young

Source: LyricFind

Brother by Stuck In The Sound

This song came into my orbit a bit before my first breakup with a girl who was into BDSM. This sexual encounter was a revelation. It was the discovery of BDSM. Our encounter transformed me. We had made plan to meet again, but circumstances beyond our control dashed those plans.

The lyrics say she’s just a ghost, but it was her who ghosted me. She was neurodivergent, like I am, and did not see a way forward. So she shut the door.

God I need love
Time off for my tender fall, and now
Gotta save a friend soul, you'll fix the broken me bro'
God I need love
Time off for my tender fall, and now
Gotta save a friend soul, you'll fix the broken me bro'

Can't you see this? I'm a man without tomorrow
She's just a ghost, but I cannot stop myself from loving her
Can you save me? I'm a man stuck here forever

God I need love
Time off for my tender fall, and now
Gotta save a friend soul, you'll fix the broken me bro'
And now you'll broken me
Broken me
Bro, bro

Can't you see this? I'm a man without tomorrow
She's just a ghost, but I cannot stop myself from loving her
Can you save me? I'm a man stuck here forever
She's just a ghost, but I cannot stop myself from loving her
Can you save me?
Can you save me?
Can you save me brother?
Can you save me?
I'm a man without tomorrow

Source: Musixmatch

Into The Night by Nero

This one came into my orbit at the same time as the previous breakup I mention above. She thought I was going a bit fast.

Baby, let's drive into the night
Just get up and go, leave our worlds behind
It's so easy if you just say that you might
Just get up and go, leave it all behind

Baby, I just wanna get it right
Let's just take this slow, I hope that you don't mind
It's so easy if you wait another night
Just go with the flow, leave it all behind

Just go with the flow, leave it all behind

Just go with the flow, leave it all behind

Baby, let's drive into the night
Just get up and go, leave our worlds behind
It's so easy if you just say that you might
Just get up and go, leave it all behind

Baby, I just wanna get it right
Let's just take this slow, I hope that you don't mind
It's so easy if you wait another night
Just go with the flow, leave it all behind

Baby, let's drive into the night
Just get up and go, leave our worlds behind
It's so easy if you just say that you might
Just get up and go, leave it all behind

So baby, let's just get away the night
Pack up all your bags, start another life
If we leave right now, we'll be there before it's light
Do you wanna go, leave it all behind?

Baby, I just wanna get it right
Let's just take this slow, I hope that you don't mind
It's so easy if you wait another night
Just go with the flow, leave it all behind

Baby, I just wanna get it right
Let's just take this slow, I hope that you don't mind
It's so easy if you wait another night
Just go with the flow, leave it all behind

Just go with the flow, leave it all behind

Just go with the flow, leave it all behind

Source: LyricFind

No Lullaby by Siamés

This is the first song linked to my relationship with the girl I call my greatest success and my greatest failure. I never go into relationships timidly. I simply adored her. In the end, she betrayed me. It just baffles my mind how great she was when we were at our best, and how awful she turned out to be.

Her background prior to knowing me was really hard. She had a tough childhood. No Lullaby is about two kids from a broken home, and for whom there is no lullaby. If you just look at the visuals, you’d think this is a happy song through and through, but the words. I remember crying in front of my girl when the music video for this song came up. I just couldn’t help it.

Blinding lights, thunder tremble pack
Muddy hearts, Beanie Babies lies
There's no lullaby in this nowhere land

Shining high, rumbles in the dark
Torn apart, devil in disguise
There's no lullaby in this nowhere land

What's the meaning when you have a broken home, home, home?
Where's the love when you were left on your own?
So alone

Tumbling dice, sentimental crap
Who's the smart leading daily cries?
There's no lullaby in this nowhere land

What's the meaning when you have a broken home, home, home?
Where's the love when you were left on your own?
What's the meaning when you have a broken home, home, home?
Where's the love when you were left on your own?
So alone

Ah-ah

Ah-ah

Ah-ah

What's the meaning when you have a broken home, home, home?
Where's the love when you were left on your own?
What's the meaning when you have a broken home, home, home?
Where's the love when you were left on your own?
So alone

Who said you're on your own?

Source: Musixmatch

Magic by Mystery Skulls

This is a love song that was very meaningful to me. The world was telling me to give up on her. Heck, my very own father was telling me this. He did not realize how good she could be. Yes, she betrayed me in the end, but when we were at our best, it was like magic.

The spell you got on me, it's like magic
Got me feeling like falling in love
Got me feeling like I'll never give up on
Got me feeling like I'll never give up on you
It's like magic
I got you feeling like you're falling in love
I got you feeling like you'll never give up on
I got you feeling like you'll never give up on

It's like magic
Got me feeling like falling in love
Got me feeling like I'll never give up on
Got me feeling like I'll never give up on you
It's like magic
I got you feeling like you're falling in love
I got you feeling like you'll never give up on
I got you feeling like you'll never give up on

Magic, magic (oh)
Magic, magic (oh)
Magic, magic, magic, magic (oh)
Magic, magic (oh)
Magic, magic (oh)
Magic, magic, magic, magic (oh)

It's not the way you wear your hair
Or you just crept out of bed
Oh, no
It's not the way you move your eyes
So, it took me by surprise
Oh, no

Before this night is over, I pull your body closer
I wanna give it to ya, I wanna get back
Before this night is over, I pull your body closer

The spell you got on me, it's like magic
Got me feeling like falling in love
Got me feeling like I'll never give up on
Got me feeling like I'll never give up on you
It's like magic
I got you feeling like you're falling in love
I got you feeling like you'll never give up on
I got you feeling like you'll never give up on

Magic, magic (oh)
Magic, magic (oh)
Magic, magic, magic, magic oh
Magic, magic (oh)
Magic, magic (oh)
Magic, magic, magic, magic (oh)

Magic, magic (oh)
Magic, magic (oh)
Magic, magic, magic, magic (oh)
Magic, magic (oh)
Magic, magic (oh)
Magic, magic, magic, magic (oh)

Never give up on us
Never give up on you
Never give up on us
Never give up on
Never give up on us
Never give up on you
Never give up on
Never give up on you, baby

Never give up on us
Never give up on you
Never give up on us
Never give up on
Never give up on us
Never give up on you
Never give up on
Never give up on you, baby

The spell you got on me, it's like magic
Got me feeling like falling in love
Got me feeling like I'll never give up on
Got me feeling like I'll never give up on you
It's like magic
I got you feeling like you're falling in love
I got you feeling like you'll never give up on
I got you feeling like you'll never give up on

It's like magic
Got me feeling like falling in love
Got me feeling like I'll never give up on
Got me feeling like I'll never give up on you
It's like magic
I got you feeling like you're falling in love
I got you feeling like you'll never give up on
I got you feeling like you'll never give up on

Magic, magic (oh)
Magic, magic (oh)
Magic, magic, magic, magic (oh)
Magic, magic (oh)
Magic, magic (oh)
Magic, magic, magic, magic (oh)

Source: Musixmatch

Invincible by Mystery Skulls

This song is about the same girl. She was into BDSM. She wanted praise. So I gave her praise freely. The passage “You’re invincible, you’re unbreakable, and you’re capable/Whether you like it or not” was especially resonating with me.

Invincible
Right now and forever
As long as we're still together
This could be paradise

Invincible (invincible)
Right now and forever (forever, baby)
As long as we're still together
This could be paradise
Invincible (invincible)
Right now and forever (forever, baby)
As long as we're still together
This could be paradise
Invincible (invincible)
Right now and forever (forever, baby)
As long as we're still together
This could be paradise

Are you seeing this?
It's so much stronger than we thought
You're invincible, you're unbreakable, and you're capable
Whether you like it or not
Are you seeing this?
You can move metal with your mind (your mind)
And with your brain, it's stoppin' time
It's like you're unstoppable
(Invincible)

Invincible (invincible)
Right now and forever (forever, baby)
As long as we're still together
This could be paradise
Invincible (invincible)
Right now and forever (forever, baby)
As long as we're still together
This could be paradise
Invincible (invincible)
Invincible
Invincible

Are you seeing this?
It's so much stronger than we thought
You're invincible, you're unbreakable, and you're capable
Whether you like it or not
Are you seeing this?
You can move metal with your mind
And with your brain, it's stoppin' time (oh)
It's like you're on some god power (invincible)

Invincible (invincible)
Right now and forever (forever, baby)
As long as we're still together
This could be paradise
Invincible (invincible)
Invincible
Invincible
Invincible

Source: Musixmatch

Dying For You by Mystery Skulls

Same girl. I mentioned above adoring her, not wanting to abandon her, and not going into relationships timidly. I was ready to walk through the fires of hell for her, and I actually did walk through the fires of hell, but that was not enough.

[Chorus: Mystery Skulls]
Would you die for me like I'd die for you?
If it all somehow came down to this like a summer premonition
Would you die for me like I'd die for you?
If it all somehow came down to this like a summer premonition
Would you die for me like I'd die for you?
If it all somehow came down to this could you leave it with a kiss?

[Post-Chorus: Both, Snowblood]
I'd die for you
I'm dying for you
I'd die for you
I'm dying for you
I'd die for you

[Chorus: Mystery Skulls, both]
Would you lie for me like I'd lie for you?
If it all came somehow down to this, would'ya do it?
I'd die for you
Would you die for me like I'd die for you?
If it all somehow came down to this like a summer premonition
I'd die for you
Would you die for me like I'd die for you?
If it all somehow came down to this could you leave it with a kiss?
I'm dying for you

Would you die for me like I'd die for you?
If it all somehow came down to this like a summer premonition
I'd die for you
Would you die for me like I'd die for you?
If it all somehow came down to this like a summer premonition
I'd die for you
Would you die for me like I'd die for you?
If it all somehow came down to this could you leave it with a kiss?

[Post-Chorus: Both, Snowblood]
I'd die for you
I'm dying for you
I'd die for you
I'm dying for you
I'd die for you
I'd die for you

Source: Genius

Souk Eye by Gorillaz

This song came into my orbit when I was breaking up with the girl I’ve been talking about for the past few songs. Initially, I cried whenever this song came up. I no longer do, but my belly contracts whenever it comes up.

LA, why you're so complicated for me, twilight
Waiting on the planet to turn to me, dark side
If loving you's a felony now, then I'm a renegade, riding
Trying to find tomorrow ain't easy
'Til you dive in

Why you rolling waves over me now, it's all I need, dreaming
Waiting on LA to come find me, be forgiven
I'll be a regular guy for you, I never said I'd do that
Why you looking so beautiful to me now when you're so sad?

I will always think about you
That's why I'm calling you back
On my way through

I wanna stay with you for a long time
I wanna be your stone, love
I wanna see it lay in your eyes
When I'm leaving with your love

I will always think about you
That's why I'm calling you back
'Cause I gotta run soon

I will always think about you
That's why I'm calling you back
On my way through

Source: LyricFind

The Pink Phantom by Gorillaz

This song is a doozy. It also came into my orbit at the time of the breakup with the girl I’ve been talking about. For the first week after our breakup I cried almost nonstop from the time I woke up to the time I went to bed. Whenever this song came up, I was crying anew. I still cry to this day whenever it comes up.

This is a multifaceted song, but one aspect of this song is that it is about a breakup. The lyrics of this song also reflect the story between my girl and me. I did put her name “in my rhymes,” so to speak. I’m a writer, but not a songwriter. However, I wrote about her in my prose under an assumed name.

I also tried to give her everything she might need. I went to NAMI (the National Alliance on Mental Illness) for her. People I talked to were literally falling off their chairs when I told her I had been her boyfriend for only four months. Family members are typically not this fast.

In the end, she betrayed me.

You've more or less forgotten me this summer
I can't hide my disappointment
I was on my way in the Phantom V
The one you gave away

Try to tell you that I love you but I'm choked up
You forgot and that makes me feel like no one (summer nights)
Were you even really there?
Did you ever really care?
Wait, I got so many examples of all of the good times we had
Long summer nights (summer nights)
Held you a long time, put your name in my rhymes
Refresh your memory of where you wanna be
The Phantom's on the way, she's comin' down the street

I tried to get to Atlanta
On a peach blossom highway
I'm tryin' to put these puzzles out of mind
In a sky made of diamonds
Where the world fell silent
I'll be waiting for you on the other side

Summer lights (everyday, everyday)
Sometimes (ride where the summer goes)
Summer nights
Every night
Summer nights

I tried to say I love you
But you didn't listen (summer nights)
I tried to give you everything you might need (summer nights)
In a sky made of diamonds
And where the world is flawless
I'll be waiting for you on the other side

Of summer lights, summer lights
Hold it in for a long time
Summer lights, seems to me I'm in a dream
Behind these summer lights

The Phantom is coming
You forgot and that makes me feel like no one
She's crossing over the line
Wait, I got so many examples of all of the good times we had
Seems to me I'm in a dream (long summer nights, I loved you a long time)
(Put your name in my rhyme, refresh your memory)
Behind these summer lights
(Of where you wanna be, the Phantom's on the way)
(She's comin' down the street)
Sometimes

Source: LyricFind

White Flag by Delta Heavy

This song also came into my orbit around the time of the same breakup. This one is more like a yearning on my part. I wanted her to come back and to tell me that she’s sorry. She was a submissive girl, and one of the things that good submissive people do is surrender to their Dom. She did it beautifully at the height of our relationship.

One night
One more chance to say I'm sorry
And I can't believe a lie
Say you need me

One night
One more chance to say I'm sorry
And I can't believe a lie
Say you need me

Wave the white flag
I surrender, I surrender, I surrender
Wave the white flag
I surrender, I surrender, I surrender
I surrender

I surrender

One night

Say you need me
One night

I surrender

One night
One night
One night
One night

Wave the white flag
I surrender, I surrender, I surrender
Wave the white flag
I surrender, I surrender, I surrender
I surrender

I surrender

One night
One more chance to say I'm sorry
And I can't believe a lie
Say you need me

One night
One more chance to say I'm sorry
And I can't believe a lie
Say you need me

One night
One night
One night
One night

Source: Musixmatch

There you have it. There are more songs that make me cry, but I’m saving them for a future article… maybe.


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