If I Were A Billionaire

I’d be helping my fellow human beings here and now.

Photo by Dmytro Glazunov on Unsplash

A billion dollars does isolate you from having to worry about your future, right? I sure hope so. At least that’s how I imagine it. If I’m wrong about this, you can try to convince me, but you’re going to have to bring up your A game. I don’t tolerate fools lightly.

So if I had a billion dollars, I’d be helping my fellow human beings. No, I’m not talking about those highfaluting philanthropic projects. Well, maybe I’d participate in those too, but my first impulse is not to engage in those abstract goals, but rather to help my fellow human beings here, and now.

How might I do this? Do you know anyone struggling with medical debt? How about I wave my magic wand to make that debt disappear? How about I provide an endowment? I’m going to pay for all the care that you provide, but in return you cannot charge a patient, ever?

Wow! This would be great, wouldn’t it? This would provide immeasurable relief to my fellow human beings. Their medical debt would disappear, and those people who die now because they cannot afford care would get to live. Amazing!

“UNpossible!” says the billionaire.

Why? Have you tried to do this with your billions? No. How about you shut the fuck up.

“What about people who will try to game the system?” says another one.

The system is already being gamed to line the pockets of the rich.

“What about…”

Maybe the same drive that would push me to help my fellow human beings is why I am not a billionaire. Maybe what allows someone to become a billionaire in the first place, also kills any inner incentive to help your fellow human beings, other than by issuing splashy press releases announcing an investment of money into some abstract benefit for the human race, but at the expense of helping here and now.


I’m already helping my fellow human beings here and now, with the means that I have at my disposal, which are very modest indeed.

If you are a billionaire, what are you waiting for?



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2 responses to “If I Were A Billionaire”

  1. Eric the Cerise Avatar


    Did you ever hear of the Pineapple fund?

    Some anonymous person made a lot of money with cryptocurrencies and decided to give most of it away. Spent a year collecting applications from people and organizations who wanted a donation, and picked the ones he wanted to support.


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