Your Autistic Life: The Ruminations of an Autistic Enby

This is my blog. I masked my autism for the first 50 years of my life. I discovered in March 2023 that I am, in fact, autistic. Prior to this time, my life was mostly okay, but did not make much sense overall. Since my self-diagnosis, my life makes much more sense.

If you don’t know where to start on this site, this page has the articles you should read first.

Premium articles can be found here, besides appearing in the other sections.

Editorials:

  • UnitedHealth’s Stupidity Is Suffocating

    What kind of idiots run this company?????????? UnitedHealth was hit in a data breach. They did exactly what you should not do. For fuck’s sake! You do not need to be a genius to fucking know what I’m going to fucking tell you here. If you guessed that I am mad, well, bingo! You win…

  • The Examined Life

    The discovery of my neurodivergence has been a blessing in disguise, for, together with other crises, it forced me to examine my life. I know for a fact that some people won’t accept that neurodivergence is a blessing at all. These folks sometimes wish that they would be able to do away with their own…

  • Why Do Autistic People “Make A Scene?”

    Because you don’t bloody listen. Going to events can be challenging when you are autistic. It is definitely challenging for me. I have noise sensitivity and social anxiety. I’ve recently learned that I’m liable to crash if I’m overstimulated during a social event. Fun! I’m going to talk about a specific event here. It is…

Random Articles:

  • When Being Polite Is Merely Superficial

    Sometimes being polite to someone is actually just a way to get them off your back. People are strange. Neurotypical people are the strangest. Neurodivergent people who are consciously or not propagating neurotypical habits are also among the strangest. Internalized ableism is a thing. Not so long ago, I sent a message to someone who…

  • Is Meditation More Pleasurable Than Sex?

    What being neurodivergent and queer has taught me about this question. There is frank talk about sex in what follows here, including masochism. In my view, it is light talk, but reader beware. From time to time I see claims that meditation is indeed more pleasurable than sex. Wow! Let’s reach for the meditation cushion…

  • When Famotidine Messes With Your Head

    I think my anti-reflux medicine is messing up my head. Preamble: I wrote this piece in August 2022, right when I was dealing with the depression that was caused by my famotidine. I decided to do minimal edits before publishing it here. In particular, I did not adjust the chronology. I did not know I…

Latest Articles:

  • Sleep Disorders

    I used to be able to sleep just fine, but I lost that ability with age. Sleep disorders are common among autistic people. The fact that I progressively lost the ability to sleep normally is one of the reasons I think that I was starting to lose the ability to mask prior to my cancer,…

  • I Like Repetition

    There are multiple ways in which repetition is a feature of my life. Society tells us that repetition is a bad thing. Then again, society is dominated by neurotypical people. I’m neurodivergent, autistic, and thus my relationship with repetition is more complex than what society tells us. My choice of clothing shows a desire for…

  • Stimming

    I’ve stimmed all my life, but its manifestation has changed over time. As I reflect on earlier episodes in my life, I realize that a lot of the symptoms associated with autism were present in me, but masked. I’ve stimmed way before my cancer weakened my ability to mask, but I did not know what…

  • Social Anxiety

    Social interactions have always been difficult. As a general observation, social interactions have always proved to be a minefield for me. I did my best to step carefully through this minefield, but I did step on some landmines. I thought that was just me being “quirky” but I think now it is my autism. Truth…

  • No Social Media Icons For Sharing On This Site

    I’ve thought about it, but I decided against it. Maybe I’m acting against my own best interests here… but it seems to me rather frivolous to add a strip of icons on every page so that users can share the stuff here to some social media platform. If you want to share, you can do…

Latest Videos From My YouTube Channel:

  • Lovers Cooing To Each Other

    These lover may be high on love! https://spectra.video/w/vAAYxd4xQxGMh5aA2wgqaR

  • Secretions

    A farmer is just being very honest with his client. https://spectra.video/w/pZGMJhRni7mcqAs7puawLM

  • Dating Profiles: SIU – Episode 2

    On online dating apps, bad grammar, stupid statements, and the like, are considered especially heinous. On the internet, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Idiots Unit…. (CW: contains language about sex.) https://spectra.video/w/tCsmRoMyERZCdQzyMJpA8K

Latest Music:

  • Stimming Is Life’s Greatest Hits 002

    The greatest hits so far in the Stimming Is Life series.

  • Stimming Is Life 013

    Even more music to stim to! I’ve given an autistic reading of The Rifle’s Spiral by The Shins here.

  • An Autistic Reading Of The Rifle’s Spiral

    My take on a few lines of The Rifle’s Spiral by The Shins. This music video came into my orbit before I knew that I was autistic. However, there are a few lines in there that have always captured my imagination. I’ve had other neurodivergent people listen to this piece, and they also latched onto…