Your Autistic Life: The Ruminations of an Autistic Enby
This is my blog. I masked my autism for the first 50 years of my life. I discovered in March 2023 that I am, in fact, autistic. Prior to this time, my life was mostly okay, but did not make much sense overall. Since my self-diagnosis, my life makes much more sense.
If you don’t know where to start on this site, this page has the articles you should read first.
Premium articles can be found here, besides appearing in the other sections.
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UnitedHealth’s Stupidity Is Suffocating
What kind of idiots run this company?????????? UnitedHealth was hit in a data breach. They did exactly what you should not do. For fuck’s sake! You do not need to be a genius to fucking know what I’m going to fucking tell you here. If you guessed that I am mad, well, bingo! You win…
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The Examined Life
The discovery of my neurodivergence has been a blessing in disguise, for, together with other crises, it forced me to examine my life. I know for a fact that some people won’t accept that neurodivergence is a blessing at all. These folks sometimes wish that they would be able to do away with their own…
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Why Do Autistic People “Make A Scene?”
Because you don’t bloody listen. Going to events can be challenging when you are autistic. It is definitely challenging for me. I have noise sensitivity and social anxiety. I’ve recently learned that I’m liable to crash if I’m overstimulated during a social event. Fun! I’m going to talk about a specific event here. It is…
Random Articles:
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Stimming Is Life 001
A playlist for those who like to stim to music. I’m a late-diagnosed autistic, and yes I did self-diagnose. For the longest time I was able to mask, but my cancer lessened my ability. Yet, if I look back at my life, I was stimming years before my cancer. One form of stimming for me…
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Snowflakes In The Storm
We are so many snowflakes in the storm. Such is our lives. As I write these lines, it is snowing softly outside my apartment. However, I do not wish to talk about the present, but about the past. I want to talk about one night, back when I was in my early twenties. At that…
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ER Doctors
ER doctors like to say that all your problems are caused by stress or anxiety
Latest Articles:
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A Senseless Breakup As a Zen Koan
She put me in an impossible situation, and gave me the gift of a koan. I’m still reeling from the worst breakup of my life. Well, the worst breakup so far. There’s no telling if something even worse will come some day. It’s been almost two years, but last night a song came up and…
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Gift Giving: A Minefield
I’m both a bad giver and a bad receiver of gifts, according to society, at any rate. Gift giving is a minefield for most autistic folks. It definitely is one for me. Since Valentine’s Day is upon us, here’s a reflection on why most options are terrible. In no specific order, A great part of…
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Is Meditation More Pleasurable Than Sex?
What being neurodivergent and queer has taught me about this question. There is frank talk about sex in what follows here, including masochism. In my view, it is light talk, but reader beware. From time to time I see claims that meditation is indeed more pleasurable than sex. Wow! Let’s reach for the meditation cushion…
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Getting Rid of Old Shit
I’m lightening the load. Don’t think for one second that getting rid of old shit is easy for me. I do find all kinds of reasons to keep stuff around, but life events sometimes insist on your making the decision to get rid of shit. My divorce was such an event. I had to part…
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On Zen Practice
The revolutionary art of unlearning. I don’t think that what follows is especially original. It was probably communicated to me at the beginning of my practice, but I was too bewildered and stupid to understand it. It is only now, after years of practice, that I finally understand what was communicated. When I talk about…
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Why Are Autistic Folks Generally Tolerant?
I do have a simple theory. My theory is that it is because we don’t generally believe in arbitrary social conventions. Those very same conventions usually do not serve us, autistic folks, well. Once the social conventions that oppress us daily are seen as arbitrary, it does not take much to realize that most other…
Latest Videos From My YouTube Channel:
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The Antichrist
Finn thinks he’s the Antichrist. https://youtube.com/shorts/FhvFzoTSrm8?feature=share
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An Amicus Grief
Finn is going to deliver an amicus grief at the Supreme Court. https://youtu.be/agNF6cBSL5Y
Latest Music:
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Stimming Is Life 012
More music to stim to! Keen-eyed observers will recognize Wish I Knew You by The Revivalists. I’ve talked about it in this article:
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Stimming Is Life 011
More music to stim to. I’ve picked the audio-only version of The Less I Know The Better by Tame Impala. There’s a video of it, however, it contains sex, so I decided to not include it in my playlist. Feel free to find it on YouTube and watch it, however!
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Stimming Is Life 010
More music to stim to. Warning: the clip for Wonderland by Caravan Palace contains imagery that some people can find disturbing.