Your Autistic Life: The Ruminations of an Autistic Enby

This is my blog. I masked my autism for the first 50 years of my life. I discovered in March 2023 that I am, in fact, autistic. Prior to this time, my life was mostly okay, but did not make much sense overall. Since my self-diagnosis, my life makes much more sense.

If you don’t know where to start on this site, this page has the articles you should read first.

Premium articles can be found here, besides appearing in the other sections.

Editorials:

  • UnitedHealth’s Stupidity Is Suffocating

    What kind of idiots run this company?????????? UnitedHealth was hit in a data breach. They did exactly what you should not do. For fuck’s sake! You do not need to be a genius to fucking know what I’m going to fucking tell you here. If you guessed that I am mad, well, bingo! You win…

  • The Examined Life

    The discovery of my neurodivergence has been a blessing in disguise, for, together with other crises, it forced me to examine my life. I know for a fact that some people won’t accept that neurodivergence is a blessing at all. These folks sometimes wish that they would be able to do away with their own…

  • Why Do Autistic People “Make A Scene?”

    Because you don’t bloody listen. Going to events can be challenging when you are autistic. It is definitely challenging for me. I have noise sensitivity and social anxiety. I’ve recently learned that I’m liable to crash if I’m overstimulated during a social event. Fun! I’m going to talk about a specific event here. It is…

Random Articles:

  • An Autistic Reading Of The Rifle’s Spiral

    My take on a few lines of The Rifle’s Spiral by The Shins. This music video came into my orbit before I knew that I was autistic. However, there are a few lines in there that have always captured my imagination. I’ve had other neurodivergent people listen to this piece, and they also latched onto…

  • At 50 I’m Realizing I’m Not Made To Live Alone

    Most of the time, these days, I live alone. My mental health is suffering from it. I initially wrote this article in March 2023. I’m republishing it here with minimal edits. I’ll provide an update at the end. This is a realization that came to me only very recently… during the past few weeks, actually. I…

  • Was Autism A Factor In My Divorce?

    No, and yes. It is a complicated question for which both answers are correct. I’ve always maintained that my autism wasn’t the cause of my divorce. This is true, insofar as neither of us knew that I was autistic. That’s something I realized after the divorce. However, I’m still engaging in The Great Reflection. As…

Latest Articles:

  • Yvonne Rorrer Declares Herself Ethically Non-Monogamous

    A portrait of Yvonne Rorrer.

    Good for her, and for those of us who are also into ethical non-monogamy. I have never heard of Yvonne Rorrer until Stephen Colbert talked about her on The Late Show last night. I know she is a Democrat, but I don’t know more about her political positions. At any rate, it is a good…

  • Why I Usually Don’t Get All Pissy When A Relationship Fails

    Two hands reaching for one another.

    I don’t like drama. Finding a picture for this article was hard. That’s because a lot of the pictures I found imply feelings that I don’t have. (I’m not crushed, or angry, etc.) Or they imply the end of a long and intense relationship. It wasn’t the case here. My latest date told me minutes…

  • A Senseless Breakup As a Zen Koan

    A Japanese gate jutting out of the water.

    She put me in an impossible situation, and gave me the gift of a koan. I’m still reeling from the worst breakup of my life. Well, the worst breakup so far. There’s no telling if something even worse will come some day. It’s been almost two years, but last night a song came up and…

  • Gift Giving: A Minefield

    A minefield with sings indicating that it is a minefield

    I’m both a bad giver and a bad receiver of gifts, according to society, at any rate. Gift giving is a minefield for most autistic folks. It definitely is one for me. Since Valentine’s Day is upon us, here’s a reflection on why most options are terrible. In no specific order, A great part of…

  • Is Meditation More Pleasurable Than Sex?

    What being neurodivergent and queer has taught me about this question. There is frank talk about sex in what follows here, including masochism. In my view, it is light talk, but reader beware. From time to time I see claims that meditation is indeed more pleasurable than sex. Wow! Let’s reach for the meditation cushion…

  • Getting Rid of Old Shit

    I’m lightening the load. Don’t think for one second that getting rid of old shit is easy for me. I do find all kinds of reasons to keep stuff around, but life events sometimes insist on your making the decision to get rid of shit. My divorce was such an event. I had to part…

Latest Videos From My YouTube Channel:

  • Don’t Use Hashtags Incorrectly!

    Someone has sent a picture demonstrating that he does not know how to use hashtags! https://youtube.com/shorts/aijXHiIIs50

  • Smellery

    Mr. Johnson wants to open a smellery. Not sure his first sample is going to get him the loan he wants. (This is the first time I’m using Bark to produce the voices.) https://youtube.com/shorts/DIzd6J3WrmI

  • Sponsored Implants

    A lady gets sponsored implants, and realizes too late what this means. https://youtu.be/8QDwW5yqYO8

Latest Music:

  • Stimming Is Life 012

    More music to stim to! Keen-eyed observers will recognize Wish I Knew You by The Revivalists. I’ve talked about it in this article:

  • Stimming Is Life 011

    More music to stim to. I’ve picked the audio-only version of The Less I Know The Better by Tame Impala. There’s a video of it, however, it contains sex, so I decided to not include it in my playlist. Feel free to find it on YouTube and watch it, however!

  • Stimming Is Life 010

    More music to stim to. Warning: the clip for Wonderland by Caravan Palace contains imagery that some people can find disturbing.