Your Autistic Life: The Ruminations of an Autistic Enby

This is my blog. I masked my autism for the first 50 years of my life. I discovered in March 2023 that I am, in fact, autistic. Prior to this time, my life was mostly okay, but did not make much sense overall. Since my self-diagnosis, my life makes much more sense.

If you don’t know where to start on this site, this page has the articles you should read first.

Premium articles can be found here, besides appearing in the other sections.

Editorials:

  • The Conservatives Justices Part of SCOTUS are Sophomoric Idiots

    Yep, we’re fucked. I chose my words carefully with that title. Their “reasoning” for the decision granting absolute powers to presidents is equivalent to the work of a confused college sophomore. I knew right away that this decision couldn’t be good for us, but I decided to hold my tongue for a while. I have…

  • If I Were A Billionaire

    I’d be helping my fellow human beings here and now. A billion dollars does isolate you from having to worry about your future, right? I sure hope so. At least that’s how I imagine it. If I’m wrong about this, you can try to convince me, but you’re going to have to bring up your…

  • I No Longer Recommend Feeld

    The powers that be killed the golden goose. If you’ve already read this article, please read the updates at the bottom. They are eye-opening. I’ve complained about the state of Feeld before. Namely, in this article: Well… it’s gone from bad to worse. Feeld used to be the application I’d recommend for the gender and…

Random Articles:

  • Aphorisms of Love: An Early Disappointment Is Better Than A Late One

    It is better to discover incompatibilities early, rather than late. Ideally, we wouldn’t discover any incompatibilities. However, reality being the way it is, it is better to discover these early, rather than late. An early unmatch is easier to handle, than a late one. I’ve been rejected, this very morning. Truth be told, I wasn’t…

  • On The Importance Of Teaching Neurodivergence

    In my view, it would allow us to handle better the friction that occurs when meshing different communication styles. As I was writing about the sources of friction between my ex-wife and I, it occurred to me that knowing about neurodivergence would have been extremely useful to us. It is unclear whether it would have…

  • An Autistic Reading Of The Rifle’s Spiral

    My take on a few lines of The Rifle’s Spiral by The Shins. This music video came into my orbit before I knew that I was autistic. However, there are a few lines in there that have always captured my imagination. I’ve had other neurodivergent people listen to this piece, and they also latched onto…

Latest Articles:

  • Why I Usually Don’t Get All Pissy When A Relationship Fails

    Two hands reaching for one another.

    I don’t like drama. Finding a picture for this article was hard. That’s because a lot of the pictures I found imply feelings that I don’t have. (I’m not crushed, or angry, etc.) Or they imply the end of a long and intense relationship. It wasn’t the case here. My latest date told me minutes…

  • A Senseless Breakup As a Zen Koan

    A Japanese gate jutting out of the water.

    She put me in an impossible situation, and gave me the gift of a koan. I’m still reeling from the worst breakup of my life. Well, the worst breakup so far. There’s no telling if something even worse will come some day. It’s been almost two years, but last night a song came up and…

  • Gift Giving: A Minefield

    A minefield with sings indicating that it is a minefield

    I’m both a bad giver and a bad receiver of gifts, according to society, at any rate. Gift giving is a minefield for most autistic folks. It definitely is one for me. Since Valentine’s Day is upon us, here’s a reflection on why most options are terrible. In no specific order, A great part of…

  • Is Meditation More Pleasurable Than Sex?

    What being neurodivergent and queer has taught me about this question. There is frank talk about sex in what follows here, including masochism. In my view, it is light talk, but reader beware. From time to time I see claims that meditation is indeed more pleasurable than sex. Wow! Let’s reach for the meditation cushion…

  • Getting Rid of Old Shit

    I’m lightening the load. Don’t think for one second that getting rid of old shit is easy for me. I do find all kinds of reasons to keep stuff around, but life events sometimes insist on your making the decision to get rid of shit. My divorce was such an event. I had to part…

  • On Zen Practice

    The revolutionary art of unlearning. I don’t think that what follows is especially original. It was probably communicated to me at the beginning of my practice, but I was too bewildered and stupid to understand it. It is only now, after years of practice, that I finally understand what was communicated. When I talk about…

Latest Videos From My YouTube Channel:

  • Screw You!

    Finn is literally falling into a trap, or is it figuratively? https://youtube.com/shorts/T6Zsk6iM25A?feature=share

  • Eating Your Feelings

    Finn has been in the bathroom for a while, processing his feelings. https://youtube.com/shorts/gxMPQjWdqfA

  • Sliced Muenster Cheese

    Finn gets sliced monster for Alice. https://youtube.com/shorts/qt2cMb-qayA?feature=share

Latest Music:

  • Stimming Is Life 009

    More music to stim to. The music video for I Appear Missing is a big gory. Also, I picked the audio of Miracle for the YouTube playlist. There is an official music video, but it is not safe for work. If you want to see it, you’ll have to work for it.

  • Stimming Is Life 008

    More music to stim to. Lest you think that I’m making these playlists just for you. No, I’m making them for myself. I’ve been stimming to the following playlist for a few weeks now on my daily walks, and on the subway. Oh, Tranz by Gorillaz is a bit fast, but it is sooo gooooood!…

  • Stimming Is Life 007

    A playlist of music I stim to. The playlist on YouTube: The playlist on Spotify: Get your very own Stimming is Life sweatshirt in my Bonfire store: