Your Autistic Life: The Ruminations of an Autistic Enby

This is my blog. I masked my autism for the first 50 years of my life. I discovered in March 2023 that I am, in fact, autistic. Prior to this time, my life was mostly okay, but did not make much sense overall. Since my self-diagnosis, my life makes much more sense.

If you don’t know where to start on this site, this page has the articles you should read first.

Premium articles can be found here, besides appearing in the other sections.

Editorials:

  • UnitedHealth’s Stupidity Is Suffocating

    What kind of idiots run this company?????????? UnitedHealth was hit in a data breach. They did exactly what you should not do. For fuck’s sake! You do not need to be a genius to fucking know what I’m going to fucking tell you here. If you guessed that I am mad, well, bingo! You win…

  • The Examined Life

    The discovery of my neurodivergence has been a blessing in disguise, for, together with other crises, it forced me to examine my life. I know for a fact that some people won’t accept that neurodivergence is a blessing at all. These folks sometimes wish that they would be able to do away with their own…

  • Why Do Autistic People “Make A Scene?”

    Because you don’t bloody listen. Going to events can be challenging when you are autistic. It is definitely challenging for me. I have noise sensitivity and social anxiety. I’ve recently learned that I’m liable to crash if I’m overstimulated during a social event. Fun! I’m going to talk about a specific event here. It is…

Random Articles:

  • I Like Repetition

    There are multiple ways in which repetition is a feature of my life. Society tells us that repetition is a bad thing. Then again, society is dominated by neurotypical people. I’m neurodivergent, autistic, and thus my relationship with repetition is more complex than what society tells us. My choice of clothing shows a desire for…

  • The Distinction Between Migrant And Expat May Not Be The One You Think

    The wrong definition will mark you as someone fighting the wrong battle. If you insist that by definition expat means white skin, while migrant means person of color, what you are engaging in is performative social justice and virtue signaling. “Look at how virtuous I am!” What you are doing actually helps no one. Moreover,…

  • Does Laziness Exist?

    I used to say “yes,” but I’m now willing to say that, in a lot of cases, it does not. I’m not yet ready to declare that laziness does not exist. However, a case can be made for the position that the word is being used in cases where there is in fact no laziness.…

Latest Articles:

  • At 50 I’m Realizing I’m Not Made To Live Alone

    Most of the time, these days, I live alone. My mental health is suffering from it. I initially wrote this article in March 2023. I’m republishing it here with minimal edits. I’ll provide an update at the end. This is a realization that came to me only very recently… during the past few weeks, actually. I…

  • Asking People To Verify Their Identity On The Dating Apps Does Not Work!

    Even if your match verifies their identity, you cannot be sure. It furthermore marks you as a scammer! Yes, yes, I know. You’ve watched Tinder Swindler and vowed never to get catfished. Good for you. No, really. I mean it! Good for you. That’s the right attitude to have. There are scammers on the dating…

  • Trans Kids Shouldn’t Have To Hide Who They Are From Their Parents

    I’m sorry to report that most parents fail horribly in this matter. Recently, a trans kid was asking how to buy binders without their parents knowing about it. This request saddened me. No, not because the kid is trans. I am saddened because, as is usually the case with trans kids, the parents are not…

  • Anger, This Unwanted And Useless Guest

    I don’t know if anger is ever useful, but it definitely is useless right now. I’m in a bind. I’ve had a wonderful one-night stand with a girl almost a month ago. We had a great time together. However, I’ve not heard from her since our encounter. This saddens me immensely. Now, one of the…

  • The State of The Dating Apps

    Feeld is buggy. KinkD is not very active. Oh, and I’m back on OkCupid. Feeld is buggy as sin. The November 2023 update has been a shitshow and continues to be a shitshow. I recently let my Feeld subscription lapse. No biggie. However, I’ve received during the past few weeks about three likes that never…

  • Am I The Asshole?

    This is a question that I ask myself often, probably because of the trauma I suffered. I believe this concern about whether I am an asshole comes from innumerable times when I was unjustly labeled an asshole. Over time, I internalized the accusers’ voices, and now I ask myself whether I am, in fact, an…

Latest Videos From My YouTube Channel:

  • Of Bearcats And Popcorn

    Bearcat urine smells like buttered popcorn. A couple of idiots has a business idea about that. https://spectra.video/w/1oig8VhQJ3xUDfSukomU72

  • Chief Is Uncooperative

    The Chief is not quite doing what the captain wants. https://spectra.video/w/gnUxopVZtWcGu9Dz66APJR

  • My Husband Is An Accidental Necromancer

    George comes back with the groceries. Hilarity ensues. https://spectra.video/w/oeccez9u9voNxdPJWrRa6t

Latest Music:

  • Stimming Is Life 002

    A playlist for those who like to stim to music. One thing I found that 120 beats per minute (BPM) may be close to my limit when I walk. I may have songs that go above this limit, but if they are too fast, then I just hand-dance and forget about walk-dancing. If you want…

  • Stimming Is Life 001

    A playlist for those who like to stim to music. I’m a late-diagnosed autistic, and yes I did self-diagnose. For the longest time I was able to mask, but my cancer lessened my ability. Yet, if I look back at my life, I was stimming years before my cancer. One form of stimming for me…