Your Autistic Life: The Ruminations of an Autistic Enby

This is my blog. I masked my autism for the first 50 years of my life. I discovered in March 2023 that I am, in fact, autistic. Prior to this time, my life was mostly okay, but did not make much sense overall. Since my self-diagnosis, my life makes much more sense.

If you don’t know where to start on this site, this page has the articles you should read first.

Premium articles can be found here, besides appearing in the other sections.

Editorials:

  • UnitedHealth’s Stupidity Is Suffocating

    What kind of idiots run this company?????????? UnitedHealth was hit in a data breach. They did exactly what you should not do. For fuck’s sake! You do not need to be a genius to fucking know what I’m going to fucking tell you here. If you guessed that I am mad, well, bingo! You win…

  • The Examined Life

    The discovery of my neurodivergence has been a blessing in disguise, for, together with other crises, it forced me to examine my life. I know for a fact that some people won’t accept that neurodivergence is a blessing at all. These folks sometimes wish that they would be able to do away with their own…

  • Why Do Autistic People “Make A Scene?”

    Because you don’t bloody listen. Going to events can be challenging when you are autistic. It is definitely challenging for me. I have noise sensitivity and social anxiety. I’ve recently learned that I’m liable to crash if I’m overstimulated during a social event. Fun! I’m going to talk about a specific event here. It is…

Random Articles:

  • The Distinction Between Migrant And Expat May Not Be The One You Think

    The wrong definition will mark you as someone fighting the wrong battle. If you insist that by definition expat means white skin, while migrant means person of color, what you are engaging in is performative social justice and virtue signaling. “Look at how virtuous I am!” What you are doing actually helps no one. Moreover,…

  • Dating Advice For Autistic People: Filling Out A Profile

    For autistic folks, but I expect it would work for all neurodivergent folks. The first question you should ask yourself is whether you want to find someone to share your life with. Some of us really want this. However, some of us do not really want it. We’re doing it because someone else expects it…

  • How My Sleep Specialists Screwed Me

    Good news: I solved my insomnia problem. Bad news: my sleep specialists screwed me. This article was originally published elsewhere in November 2022. I’m republishing it here with minimal editing. I’ll note that my insomnia problem is not fully fixed. It is definitely better. I now sleep five to height hours per night instead of…

Latest Articles:

  • The Death Of A Dream

    We’ve sold the marital house, and with that a dream died. We recently sold the house in which my ex-wife and I lived for seven or eight years. I left earlier, she left later, hence the seven or eight year figure. It was the second house we owned together. Truth be told, our dream died…

  • Was Autism A Factor In My Divorce?

    No, and yes. It is a complicated question for which both answers are correct. I’ve always maintained that my autism wasn’t the cause of my divorce. This is true, insofar as neither of us knew that I was autistic. That’s something I realized after the divorce. However, I’m still engaging in The Great Reflection. As…

  • Janette Bertrand, The Lady Who Listened

    Janette Bertrand knew how to listen to those who were cast aside by society. I’m pretty sure she’d be fine with me calling her by her first name. So let me tell you about Janette. She was a big name on TV when I was growing up in Québec. She had one project after another.…

  • Sleep Disorders

    I used to be able to sleep just fine, but I lost that ability with age. Sleep disorders are common among autistic people. The fact that I progressively lost the ability to sleep normally is one of the reasons I think that I was starting to lose the ability to mask prior to my cancer,…

  • I Like Repetition

    There are multiple ways in which repetition is a feature of my life. Society tells us that repetition is a bad thing. Then again, society is dominated by neurotypical people. I’m neurodivergent, autistic, and thus my relationship with repetition is more complex than what society tells us. My choice of clothing shows a desire for…

  • Stimming

    I’ve stimmed all my life, but its manifestation has changed over time. As I reflect on earlier episodes in my life, I realize that a lot of the symptoms associated with autism were present in me, but masked. I’ve stimmed way before my cancer weakened my ability to mask, but I did not know what…

Latest Videos From My YouTube Channel:

  • Spinning Class

    Finn bought a new chair for spinning class. (Decided to leave the exaggerated laughs that the AI produced, as-is.) https://youtu.be/-tvs6vVNU7c

  • Doing Adult Stuff

    Finn is trying to convey to Alice that he’s adulting. https://youtube.com/shorts/aoD9RDLr3qQ?feature=share

  • Flushies

    Finn has a new idea for a stuffed toy. https://youtube.com/shorts/37wY9292Qhc?feature=share

Latest Music:

  • Stimming Is Life 002

    A playlist for those who like to stim to music. One thing I found that 120 beats per minute (BPM) may be close to my limit when I walk. I may have songs that go above this limit, but if they are too fast, then I just hand-dance and forget about walk-dancing. If you want…

  • Stimming Is Life 001

    A playlist for those who like to stim to music. I’m a late-diagnosed autistic, and yes I did self-diagnose. For the longest time I was able to mask, but my cancer lessened my ability. Yet, if I look back at my life, I was stimming years before my cancer. One form of stimming for me…