Your Autistic Life: The Ruminations of an Autistic Enby

This is my blog. I masked my autism for the first 50 years of my life. I discovered in March 2023 that I am, in fact, autistic. Prior to this time, my life was mostly okay, but did not make much sense overall. Since my self-diagnosis, my life makes much more sense.

If you don’t know where to start on this site, this page has the articles you should read first.

Premium articles can be found here, besides appearing in the other sections.

Editorials:

  • UnitedHealth’s Stupidity Is Suffocating

    What kind of idiots run this company?????????? UnitedHealth was hit in a data breach. They did exactly what you should not do. For fuck’s sake! You do not need to be a genius to fucking know what I’m going to fucking tell you here. If you guessed that I am mad, well, bingo! You win…

  • The Examined Life

    The discovery of my neurodivergence has been a blessing in disguise, for, together with other crises, it forced me to examine my life. I know for a fact that some people won’t accept that neurodivergence is a blessing at all. These folks sometimes wish that they would be able to do away with their own…

  • Why Do Autistic People “Make A Scene?”

    Because you don’t bloody listen. Going to events can be challenging when you are autistic. It is definitely challenging for me. I have noise sensitivity and social anxiety. I’ve recently learned that I’m liable to crash if I’m overstimulated during a social event. Fun! I’m going to talk about a specific event here. It is…

Random Articles:

  • Sleep Disorders

    I used to be able to sleep just fine, but I lost that ability with age. Sleep disorders are common among autistic people. The fact that I progressively lost the ability to sleep normally is one of the reasons I think that I was starting to lose the ability to mask prior to my cancer,…

  • Listening Without Judgment

    It is because we can listen without judgment, that we are all special. While I was taking my daily walk one morning, a thought occurred to me. All of us humans have a special capability that no other entity on Earth possesses. We have the ability to listen without judgment. How wonderful! When someone expresses…

  • The Self: A Vibratory Phenomenon

    That which we call the self is not as solid as we’d like to believe. This article is about this thing we call “the self.” We tend to think about the self as this solid thing. I think this belief is mistaken. I don’t think I’m being original with this contention that it is a…

Latest Articles:

  • Yvonne Rorrer Declares Herself Ethically Non-Monogamous

    A portrait of Yvonne Rorrer.

    Good for her, and for those of us who are also into ethical non-monogamy. I have never heard of Yvonne Rorrer until Stephen Colbert talked about her on The Late Show last night. I know she is a Democrat, but I don’t know more about her political positions. At any rate, it is a good…

  • Why I Usually Don’t Get All Pissy When A Relationship Fails

    Two hands reaching for one another.

    I don’t like drama. Finding a picture for this article was hard. That’s because a lot of the pictures I found imply feelings that I don’t have. (I’m not crushed, or angry, etc.) Or they imply the end of a long and intense relationship. It wasn’t the case here. My latest date told me minutes…

  • A Senseless Breakup As a Zen Koan

    A Japanese gate jutting out of the water.

    She put me in an impossible situation, and gave me the gift of a koan. I’m still reeling from the worst breakup of my life. Well, the worst breakup so far. There’s no telling if something even worse will come some day. It’s been almost two years, but last night a song came up and…

  • Gift Giving: A Minefield

    A minefield with sings indicating that it is a minefield

    I’m both a bad giver and a bad receiver of gifts, according to society, at any rate. Gift giving is a minefield for most autistic folks. It definitely is one for me. Since Valentine’s Day is upon us, here’s a reflection on why most options are terrible. In no specific order, A great part of…

  • Is Meditation More Pleasurable Than Sex?

    What being neurodivergent and queer has taught me about this question. There is frank talk about sex in what follows here, including masochism. In my view, it is light talk, but reader beware. From time to time I see claims that meditation is indeed more pleasurable than sex. Wow! Let’s reach for the meditation cushion…

  • Getting Rid of Old Shit

    I’m lightening the load. Don’t think for one second that getting rid of old shit is easy for me. I do find all kinds of reasons to keep stuff around, but life events sometimes insist on your making the decision to get rid of shit. My divorce was such an event. I had to part…

Latest Videos From My YouTube Channel:

  • Screw You!

    Finn is literally falling into a trap, or is it figuratively? https://youtube.com/shorts/T6Zsk6iM25A?feature=share

  • Eating Your Feelings

    Finn has been in the bathroom for a while, processing his feelings. https://youtube.com/shorts/gxMPQjWdqfA

  • Sliced Muenster Cheese

    Finn gets sliced monster for Alice. https://youtube.com/shorts/qt2cMb-qayA?feature=share

Latest Music:

  • Stimming Is Life 002

    A playlist for those who like to stim to music. One thing I found that 120 beats per minute (BPM) may be close to my limit when I walk. I may have songs that go above this limit, but if they are too fast, then I just hand-dance and forget about walk-dancing. If you want…

  • Stimming Is Life 001

    A playlist for those who like to stim to music. I’m a late-diagnosed autistic, and yes I did self-diagnose. For the longest time I was able to mask, but my cancer lessened my ability. Yet, if I look back at my life, I was stimming years before my cancer. One form of stimming for me…